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Topic Title: POCD or pedo in denial?
3 posts
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rilem said 5 years, 4 months ago:
I’m 13. About a week ago, a thought popped into my head. I saw a gif of a little girl and associated it with something sexual. Ever since, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about children in sexual situations. I looked it up and found out about POCD. I figured I wasn’t actually a pedophile because I didn’t get aroused by the thought, but I was still terrified of being aroused. But, a problem has come up. I feel like I may grow up to be a pedophile. I have a porn problem. Recently, I’ve been getting bored of looking at the usual things and I’m afraid that I might resort to being a pedophile. I tried hanging myself with a dog lead last night. I’m genuinely terrified of being a pedophile and I don’t know how much longer I can take this. Currently I’m sick so I can’t go to therapy, and even then, I don’t know if they’d understand. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might actually be a pedophile. I know I’m only 13, but what if the thoughts don’t go away? What if I get bored of looking at grown women? Please help.
amm0731 said 5 years, 3 months ago:
Hi rilem!
As someone who went through Ocd in the form of sexually intrusive thoughts, I know how hard this is for you. But from your story, I can tell you’re not a pedophile. You know why? Because you wouldn’t be scared out of your mind if you were. Please, please, please never ever attempt suicide, there is light at the end of the tunnel. As soon as you can get to therapy (preferably CBT) please do so. Hope this helps
Deleted User said 5 years, 3 months ago:
Definitely just ocd. Dont be scared ❤❤ it’s all gonna be ok.