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Topic Title: Racism ocd
7 posts
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Deleted User said 5 years, 2 months ago:
There was a girl Ik who went to a historically black school. I have some prejudice against this school I admit, not good but not that abnormal. However i thought something racist and imagined saying a racist word and was psychologically excited….maybe because I’m usually nice and the thought of saying it was exciting and unknown I’d rather die than say it. I think I’m an racist is this true
Deleted User said 5 years, 2 months ago:
I’m 14 btw and into psych and ik all have some level of bias but I fear this is real bad
Deleted User said 5 years, 2 months ago:
And ik everyone is equally valuable so ik I’m in no way racist in that wag
Deleted User said 5 years, 2 months ago:
Like I was bitter towards someone who went there…..even tho I’d never be unfriendly
jennifer1722 said 5 years, 2 months ago:
Ocd thoughts are upsetting thoughts that make you feel anxiety. They are not thoughts that make you feel excited. I can’t say if your excitement was due to usually being nicer than that or because you actually feel it but, as we’ve spoken about before, analysing the reasons behind it won’t help you move on.
Deleted User said 5 years, 2 months ago:
They made me anxious like right after words. I think it was the small amount of prejudice (which I think all have subconsciously) and then a thought of saying something mean popped in and I was kinda excited and then I think right after I maybe was really anxious and guilty. And I thought abt what would happen if I did that and the aftermath so ig I was exploring a situation I’d never do irl out of like curiosity. But the only thing is br I has that thought I had some thoughts in my head about her going to that college and another racist thing. I think part of it is bcz besides race I never got on the rite foot with her. If this is all the case am I a horrible racist. Ik I have some bias that needs to be resolved, but Ik everyone has some level of subconscious bias….
liv123 said 5 years, 2 months ago:
Hi elaaisn, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time recently with intrusive thoughts. OCD can be so debilitating and can make us doubt so many things. Thinking about past thoughts and actions and going over and over them in your head is called 'rumination' and it's a common compulsion with OCD, just like seeking reassurance is. As Jennifer has said, this cycle of intrusive thought, anxiety, and then compulsions is the thing we need to break in order to break free from OCD!
The good news is that there are treatments to help with OCD, and it's actually a really treatable condition so you can beat this! CBT (with something called Exposure and Response Prevention – or ERP for short) and medication are the recommended treatments for OCD and they can be accessed for free on the NHS. I know it can be really daunting to go to a doctor and ask for help but you have already made a huge step in the right direction by talking to us here on the forum! Perhaps there's a family member or adult you could take with you if you did choose to seek treatment?
There's a really useful book called 'Can I tell you about my OCD?' which you may find useful if you can get hold of a copy – it helps explain OCD and the treatments for it, but it's also got lots of information in there which is useful for family members too.
I hope this info is useful elaaisn and I hope the forums have been a safe space for you to talk about your OCD. Unfortunately we can't provide reassurance because it isn't helpful to your OCD in the long run. Breaking the cycle of obsessions and compulsions is hard, but it's really worth the work to beat OCD in the end, and treatment should help you to get there!
Take care!