Those Deep Dark Depths

October 16th 2014

By Kasia, 18 years old, studying Film and English at Sixth Form

Kudos to you, for you have done your job, in making my life a living hell. I often think what have I done to deserve you, but no! I mustn’t think like that! For you are a thing to get rid of, a challenge! A monster living inside me.

I do admit there are days I think of giving up, of letting you take victory. But even then, no matter how low you have pushed me, deep deep, oh so very deep down, I know I can not let you win. No I can not and must not ever let you win. For you are a challenge I must conquer, a war I must win, a life to live free of you!

How many lives have you taken? How many lives are you inhabiting? Too many. You are a monster, a monster we all must fight. You came on slowly, waiting for other pressures and stresses to take me over and then, then you pounce like a lion on to its pray, sinking me further and further into the deep dark depths that you must take us all. And only then do we spiral further and further.

Oh how you must be enjoying our pain. It seems to be your fuel, your entertainment, your occupation. I struggle to find the surface, for I do not know which way is up. I want my old life back. I want to surface, back on land where the ‘normal’ folk live. I know there are others down here, but I do not see or know any.

I am alone in these deep dark depths. Yes, friends and family came to visit, see the pain I am inhabited by, but they can only watch and listen. They can’t take this monster out of me, I am the only one destined for that job.

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