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Notes: Last active 2 months, 3 weeks ago
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Topic Title: Hocd and Pocd (I think) please help!
3 posts
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lucas123 said 4 years, 9 months ago:
Hello, In the past 5 months ive been suffering a lot. Deffinatelly the worst 5 months of my life. First i has homosexual ocd which is the worst and I am Still having. I didn’t treat this in any time with any profesional. One day I saw a kid from my school and I saw a picture of him and I said in my mind “this kid has a big butt and I got aroused when I thinked of him. Since that time I am the scariest ive ever been in my life. Btw I am 15 years old Almost 16. From that day my worst nightmare is that I am a pedophile or could become one. The rare thing is that I only got or sometimes get sexually aroused for that kid only, a 6 year old. I think of this kid all day and I test myself with that kid if I get aroused or not. Since I think all day long I start thinking that I fell in love with him or something like that. I always liked girls and kids always seemed cute to me but never felt something sexual for them until after I had hocd. This gives me a very hard time every day because it makes me feel that I am a pedophile or I am starting to be one. Please I need help and someone to tell me I am not a pedophile. With this happening my attraction to girls decreased. I don’t have panic when I have kids around, I actually like being with kids and playing with them but I never get sexually aroused. One side of my mind tells me that I want to have sexual contact with the kid, but the other side is telling me that I would never touch I kid like I always was and I would never make a kid suffer. It will help a lot if somebody responds to this. Thank You.
moresunshine said 4 years, 9 months ago:
You're definitely not a pedophile. Your mind is tricking you because you're so fearful that you are one, it's playing with your mind. I experienced something similar and what helped me was to try my best to let the thoughts just stay in my mind. I would do my best not to acknowledge them, just brush them off like most people without OCD would. Instead I'd try and distract myself with something I enjoyed or with some work. It's hard, but it does get easier the more you do it. You could maybe even start small, for example letting the thought remain in your head for 2 minutes without trying to convince yourself of anything, and gradually up the time. I hope that makes sense. This may not help you but it's worth a try. You are a good person, that's why you're so afraid you could be a pedophile. I know it's hard but you can fight this. If you want anymore help everyone on here will be happy to try! Good luck!