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Topic Title: Do I have POCD or am I a pedophile?
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moresunshine said 4 years, 8 months ago:
I’m worried that it’s not ocd that causes me to act the way I do, and that I’m actually a pedophile. All the things I did when I was younger have come rushing back to me and I’m worried they mean I’m a pedo. I don’t want to go into too much detail but I’m afraid that I’m a bad person. I don’t want to be a pedophile and would never hurt a child, even if I knew no one would find out and I would never be punished!! But what I used to do is disgusting, at least to me it is. It involves watching certain things on YouTube and reading certain things and now I’m worried it means I’m bad. I don’t think I realised it was wrong at the time, and I wouldn’t do it now! I’m worried because while some of the things I did I did when I was around 9, I think I did some of these things when I was 12 or 13 and that’s old enough to know I was doing something wrong, right?? I’m such a sick ad twisted person. I really don’t want to be this way. I just want to e a good person but I’m constantly doing bad things that I feel like I want to do at the time and then regret after. I don’t want to be a pedophile.
enya2019 said 4 years, 8 months ago:
I think a lot of people have done things like that as a child, I experience this, my thoughts always try to analyse everything I done in my childhood that would be considered “weird” as you start to realise when you are older, i always just try to let the thoughts be there and pay no attention to them, but trust me I know how hard it can be trying to not pay attention to the thoughts, it’s really hard, what you done as a child that would be considered a bit weird now is just innocence and curiosity, it’s completely normal to experience this as a child id say so myself, I feel very guilty for some things from childhood, you couldn’t be a pedophile as you don’t have an interest in children, always remember that you are not choosing to have these thoughts, it’s just the ocd, but the best thing for this is probably CBT therapy, it will help you with your pocd and remember again that you aren’t alone and there is help out there, and even try talking to someone that you trust about it, good luck