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Topic Title: Wanting to get back into music that was linked to bad ocd memories
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oofx4 said 5 years, 5 months ago:
Greeting and salutations, I’ve made this account to talk about an issue have (obviously) so I’m gonna try to provide a basic summary of the problem at hand. Bear with me.
SUMMARY:
My real name is lily and I’ve been struggling with the parasite of OCD for the last 3 years or so. The whole issue began around 2015 but it was very minor back then, but from then to now it’s been going from crippling, to the point of considering and almost carrying out suicide, to the point where I can live relatively (and I mean RELATIVY) happy. I’ll go into the remaining details later.
Basically. The meat of my problem stems from a RV that I was dragged into and driven around to go on trips, I live in England and going north isn’t already now sunny. Keep in mind I had no happiness when being brought along, I didn’t have a choice. Altogether the conditions of the RV where trash and I also had no way of keeping myself occupied except from going on walks (an issue in itself that I may cover on a different post)
On the way to the locations we stayed at, I found myself getting car sick so I found that listening to music helped a ton, thus bringing in the only part I liked about these trips, buying music for the ride, I found so many good songs, and so many good bands…but the problem lies in that they were too good.
Lucky around the end of 2016 the RV was sold to someone else. Now we come forward to now, I’ve been remembering some of the old bands I used to listen to, and how much I liked them, the main one being Tally Hall, but to my dismay, that was one of the bands I used to listen to in the RV.
Not only did it make me feel sick , uncomfortable and unhappy it also had a very vivid false memory of a family member raping me. So basically I’m pretty afraid to get back into listening to the band, I love their music but I’m afraid.
Got any advice on how I can sum up the courage to get back into the band and leave behind memories that still haunt and hurt me to this day, would appreciate a lot XD
jennifer1722 said 5 years, 5 months ago:
Hi Lily, I'm sorry you're suffering from OCD and that this is leading to avoidance compulsions. Are you getting any help for your OCD? As you have made progress recently, you may know about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) which is the recommended treatment for OCD. CBT involves you facing your fears and resisting your compulsions. Have you tried that at all?
jennifer1722 said 5 years, 5 months ago:
That's really good that you're getting help from CAMHS. Are you finding it useful? Is avoidance compulsions something you've spoken to your therapist about? You can always email the youth helpline for more support with this – youthhelpline@ocdaction.otg.uk