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Notes: Last active 1 month, 1 week ago
This section is open to all. Feel free to say hello, ask questions, and share all your thoughts and feelings about OCD.
Topic Title: Worried I am a pervert
3 posts
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moresunshine said 4 years, 9 months ago:
I’m worried I’m a pervert. I am 15 years old and this morning I woke up and remembered a really horrible thing I once did. I was in the changing room and one of my friends was changing and for some reason I looked right at her private parts! I don’t remember how long I looked for but I hate myself for doing this, at least I want to hate myself for it. I’ve started to remember how disgusting I actually am. I used to look at everyone’s private parts when I was out in public and I don’t understand why! This might be an exaggeration I don’t know. I never felt anything when I looked like happy for looking it’s just where I looked. I think I even did it with kids, I mean I might not have done I don’t know, which is the most horrible thing I wish I hadn’t ever done it. It never registered with me that it was bad, at least I don’t think it did, but then one day I realised how perverted it was and tried to stop. Now I want to stop I feel my eyes drawn there but I really want to be normal I don’t want to be this way I want to be good I don’t want society to hate me. Why do I have to be like this? I just want to stop looking at people this way, especially children! I would never, and have never, touched a child or any person inappropriately. I know I can’t do anything about what I did in the past, I wish I could go back and undo all the disgusting things I did, but I don’t want to be this way anymore. I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I just want someone to tell me I’m a good person, and this is the only site I’m anonymously on. Please don’t hate me. Please help me. I don’t want to upset anyone or hurt anyone. I want to be normal and good.
moresunshine said 4 years, 9 months ago:
I feel like I even did it with my family sometimes I can’t remember that well but I have tried to stop I really don’t want to be a bad person I tried to stop as soon as I realised it was bad I think. This isn’t even related to OCD I don’t know why I’m posting it here I just want to be told I am a good person and that someone will love me even though I did such horrible things.
enya2019 said 4 years, 8 months ago:
if this is getting overwhelming for you I think it’s best you see your GP, it seems like a lot of it is taking over your life and you shouldn’t let it, i struggle with this too, just know that you aren’t alone and you aren’t a bad person, there is plenty of people to talk to, but the sooner you get help the sooner you can be able to recover and start to handle things a bit better, I’m here for you and so is everyone else on here, never feel fear to get help, I’ve had sexual intrusive thoughts since I was 12 and I thought the exact same about myself, thinking I was a bad person, remember this is your ocd, and you will get better, good luck