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Notes: Last active 2 years, 12 months ago
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Topic Title: POCD or Pedophilia
4 posts
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loopy said 4 years, 5 months ago:
I’m a 13 year old who has been suffering with either POCD or Pedophilia for roughly a year. About a year and a half ago I was preyed on by a pedophile over the internet. He would make me do things for him in voice calls and I went along with it because he gave me the attention I wanted. Fast forward half a year and I was unwillingly exposed to CP on Omegle. Ever since that I’ve feared that I may be a pedophile. I regularly have intrusive thoughts about sexual acts with children and they cause me extreme distress. These thoughts arouse me in no way but just the thought that I may one day become aroused by these thoughts is terrifying. I don’t want children to have to experience the pain that I was put through which is why the thought of becoming a pedophile distresses me so much. Sorry if this post was a mess, I’m extremely anxious right now.
moresunshine said 4 years, 4 months ago:
Hello! I hope you’re feeling a bit better now. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had such awful experiences. You’re very brave for opening up about it. I can assure you, you are not a pedophile. It’s clear to anyone reading this post that you have pocd. You clearly feel incredibly guilty about the thoughts, thoughts which you can’t help. Unfortunately, pocd is a very hard topic to talk about with people who aren’t educated on ocd, because they don’t understand it. But if there’s someone you trust, try and open up about it, just a little bit. Perhaps tell them to research it before you talk to them about it, so they have better knowledge and won’t say something that hurts you. If you can’t do this, don’t worry! I couldn’t when my ocd was focused on harming children and people either. I didn’t want people to misunderstand what I was saying, and believe I was a pedophile, rather than somebody who was struggling with ocd. It’s a part of ocd that many people are oblivious to, which is one of the reasons why talking about it is so daunting.
Another thing you could try is to not pay attention to the thoughts when they happen. Obviously this is much harder than it sounds, but say you have a thought about a child that causes you anxiety. Try and ignore it for just a minute, rather than react to it immediately. Gradually increase the time you wait before focusing on the thought. Hopefully, the anxiety will lessen over time, and the frequency of the thoughts. But if you struggle to do this or it doesn’t help, that’s okay! Talking on here will help.
I hope some of this has helped you slightly. Even if it hasn’t, remember that the people on here understand some of the things you’re going through. We’re always here!
suffocation said 4 years, 3 months ago:
hey ive been reading what you said and im really sorry that happened to you, i hope it never happens again… i dont want to intrude, but how did you meet this person? if it was someone close to you, then you need to tell someone.
also i don't believe your a pedo. just so you know.
recoveryroad said 4 years, 3 months ago:
I am 100% sure this is all just POCD
pedophilia occurs every 6 months, you have clearly been suffering with it for waaaay longer than that.